（由本blog作者terryoy翻译，转载请注明）

GRAHAM CHAPMAN’S MEMORIAL SPEECH

Delivered by John Cleese at his memorial service, Jan 1990
致Graham Chapman的悼词

- 由John Cleese在他的追悼会中演说，1990年1月
Graham Chapman, co-author of the ‘Parrot Sketch,’ is no more.

Graham Chapman，“鹦鹉”短剧的联合创作者之一，已经不再。

He has ceased to be, bereft of life, he rests in peace, he has kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the Great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky, and I guess that we’re all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, such capability and kindness, of such intelligence should now be so suddenly spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he’d achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he’d had enough fun.

他终结了自己的存在，丧失了生命，他安息了，他一命呜呼，跑路了，逃之夭夭，吹熄自己的灯火，呼吸了最后一口气，去了天上与轻娱乐事业的伟大领袖见面(这一段来自于他们创作的“鹦鹉”短剧的台词)。我想我们会认为，一个拥有如此才华，待人宽宏大量，和机智聪明的人，竟然在年仅48岁的时候，在这个他还没有得到他应得的很多成就，和在他还没有完全玩够的时候突然离去，是多么悲哀的一件事。

Well, I feel that I should say, “Nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard! I hope he fries. “

而此刻，我感到我要说的是：“胡说！居然给他溜掉了，这个老占便宜的大混蛋！我衷心祝福他被油炸~”

And the reason I think I should say this is, he would never forgive me if I didn’t, if I threw away this opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. I could hear him whispering in my ear last night as I was writing this:

而我之所以认为我应该这样说的原因是，如果我没有说这些话，如果我错过了这次为了他而把你们都吓一跳的机会，他永远不会原谅我。除了那些高品味的东西之外，一切都是为了他。昨晚我在写这些东西的时候他就一直在我耳边嗡嗡地说：

“Alright, Cleese, you’re very proud of being the first person to ever say ‘shit’ on television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to be the first person ever at a British memorial service to say ‘fuck’!”

“好吧，Cleese。你非常自豪已经成为了历史上第一个在电视机上讲‘shit’的人。如果这次追悼会是真正为我的，作为开场白，我要你成为全英国史上的第一个人在追悼仪式上讲‘Fuck’！”

You see, the trouble is, I can’t. If he were here with me now I would probably have the courage, because he always emboldened me. But the truth is, I lack his balls, his splendid defiance. And so I’ll have to content myself instead with saying ‘Betty Mardsen…’

但问题是，我做不到。如果他在这里与我一齐的话，我可能就会有那样的勇气，因为他总是鼓励我要勇敢些。但事实上，我缺少他的特质，他的挑衅。因此我为了要自己满意只能取而代之地说：“Betty Mardsen！（英国一位著名的喜剧女演员）”。。。

But bolder and less inhibited spirits than me follow today. Jones and Idle, Gilliam and Palin. Heaven knows what the next hour will bring in Graham’s name. Trousers dropping, blasphemers on pogo sticks, spectacular displays of high-speed farting, synchronised incest. One of the four is planning to stuff a dead ocelot and a 1922 Remington typewriter up his own arse to the sound of the second movement of Elgar’s cello concerto. And that’s in the first half.

但比我更加勇敢和更少胆怯的人在今天将陆续出现：Jones(Terry Jones) and Idle(Eric Idle), Gilliam(Terry Gilliam) and Palin(Michael Palin)。天知道下一个小时他们将会给Graham的名下带来什么东西。脱裤子，踩弹簧高跷的辱骂者，华丽的高速放屁演示，同步直播乱伦。。。他们其中一人还准备把一只死猫和一台1922年的Remington打字机塞到自己的屁股里演奏出Elgar大提琴协奏曲的第二乐章！而那也仅仅是上半场而已。。。

Because you see, Gray would have wanted it this way. Really. Anything for him but mindless good taste. And that’s what I’ll always remember about him— apart, of course, from his Olympian extravagance. He was the prince of bad taste. He loved to shock. In fact, Gray, more than anyone I knew, embodied and symbolised all that was most offensive and juvenile in Monty Python. And his delight in shocking people led him on to greater and greater feats. I like to think of him as the pioneering beacon that beat the path along which fainter spirits could follow.

因为你要明白，亲爱的Graham会喜欢这种方式。真的。一切都是为了他，除了那些好东西。那正是我会永远记住的他——当然，除了他那奥林匹克精神式的过度放纵。他就是坏品味王子。他就爱引起大家的震惊。事实上，Graham，我比其他人都认识得更多，是Monty Python里面最有攻击性和最幼稚的象征者和实践者。

Some memories. I remember writing the undertaker speech with him, and him suggesting the punch line, ‘All right, we’ll eat her, but if you feel bad about it afterwards, we’ll dig a grave and you can throw up into it.’ I remember discovering in 1969, when we wrote every day at the flat where Connie Booth and I lived, that he’d recently discovered the game of printing four- letter words on neat little squares of paper, and then quietly placing them at strategic points around our flat, forcing Connie and me into frantic last minute paper chases whenever we were expecting important guests.

以下是一些回忆。我记得当年和他一齐写“殡葬者”短剧台词的时候，是他建议了那句笑话“好吧，我们将会把她吃掉。但如果之后你感到不舒服的话，我们将会挖一个坟墓，好让你可以往里面呕吐。”。我记得在1969年的时候，他在我和Connie Booth一起住的地方每天写稿，我发现了他喜欢把很多特殊的四字母词汇都打印在一些方形小纸片上，并且放在了房间里面各个具有特别意义的位置，使得我和Connie总是在有贵宾驾临之前不得不疯狂地在最后一分钟前把那些不安分的小纸片搜寻出来清理掉。

I remember him at BBC parties crawling around on all fours, rubbing himself affectionately against the legs of gray-suited executives, and delicately nibbling the more appetizing female calves. Mrs. Eric Morecambe remembers that too.

我记得他曾经在BBC派对上大家跳舞的时候，在大家身边爬来爬去，与各个衣冠楚楚的行政人员的脚亲密接触，并且优雅地轻咬那些女士的小腿。Mrs.Eric Morcambe也会记得的。

I remember his being invited to speak at the Oxford union, and entering the chamber dressed as a carrot—a full length orange tapering costume with a large, bright green sprig as a hat—-and then, when his turn came to speak, refusing to do so. He just stood there, literally speechless, for twenty minutes, smiling beatifically. The only time in world history that a totally silent man has succeeded in inciting a riot.

我记得他那次被邀请去牛津工会时，把自己打扮成一根胡萝卜走进大堂——一个完整的橙色胡萝卜套装，头顶一个绿色的胡萝卜头——然后，轮到他上台发言的时候，拒绝发言。他就站在那里，一个字也不说，整整二十分钟，在那里快乐地微笑着。那是世界历史上唯一一次由一个完全沉默的人成功地煽动的一场骚动。

I remember Graham receiving a Sun newspaper TV award from Reggie Maudling. Who else! And taking the trophy falling to the ground and crawling all the way back to his table, screaming loudly, as loudly as he could. And if you remember Gray, that was very loud indeed.

我记得那次Graham接受由Sun新闻报Reggie Maudling颁发的电视大奖。别无此人！拿了奖杯之后一头栽在地上，一步一步地爬回自己的桌子，还一边尽最大的嗓音大喊大叫。如果你也还记得的话，那次真是非常非常的大声。

It is magnificent, isn’t it? You see, the thing about shock… is not that it upsets some people, I think; I think that it gives others a momentary joy of liberation, as we realised in that instant that the social rules that constrict our lives so terribly are not actually very important.

非常华丽，是不是？你要明白，关于吓人这事。。。我认为它不是引起部分人不安这么简单，我认为他给他人一种刹那间释放的快感，同时使我们意识到那些总是压抑着我们日常生活的社交惯例其实并不是真的那么重要。

Well, Gray can’t do that for us anymore. He’s gone. He is an ex-Chapman. All we have of him now is our memories. But it will be some time before they fade.
如今，Graham已经不能再为我们做那些东西了。他走了。他成为了一个前Chapman(ex- Chapman，即曾经的Chapman)。（这两句也是来自“鹦鹉”短剧的台词）。我们现在留下的就只有关于他的那些珍贵的回忆。但那些回忆肯定需要很长时间才会渐渐淡忘。